In my experience the attempt to forget something specific only manages to make people remember it better. Not the desired effect. But I will do my best to ignore it.
[ And he knows you have an easier time forgetting things, as most teenagers do, but he still has a point. ]
Guess my real question is why wouldn't you actively just try not to think about it?
[ don't get his hopes up, Angeal. Don't do it!! He's already running with the fact that Angeal will be well aware he jerks off to their work out soundtrack and having trouble forgetting it. ]
Have you ever considered that we're maybe all of us different? That you're not like any of the rest of us doesn't make you less, or more, just... you.
[ And Angeal doesn't think that makes Sephiroth any less deserving of having someone around when the world is being weird because SOMEONE is experimenting with him. Ugh, Hojo... ]
[ He usually lets Genesis talk, but Angeal rarely adds something to the discussion himself. Genesis opens his eyes and looks at the top of Angeal's head over the edge of the bed—surprised. Then he closes them again, feeling some sort of obligation to. ]
Probably.
[ He immediately wants to probe for more, but musters up enough restraint, offers his thought instead. ]
Neither one of them knows at least the other one is still alive.
[ Angeal is usually not this worried. And a part of him knows that he shouldn't be, that it will indeed all heal, but the rest just knows that it was Genesis who got hurt, and so will not listen to reason.
So his mind is racing, racing... ]
Do you think that would be worse, for the one captured, or being taunted, over and over again, with the freedom and heroism of the other friend?
[ It is only the one who died whose pain is finally over. The other two... ]
... sorry, that was morbid. Get your rest, my friend.
[ Genesis wants to shuffle closer to the empty side of the bed, to Angeal on the floor, roll over. He muffles some hiss with the pillow under him and settles for turning his head that way, hoping the faintest noise didn't make Angeal jump. Genesis is too intrigued to care about the pain he prompted with his shifting around. ]
—What, being alone versus knowing he could not be the hero...?
[ It makes inside his chest flutter to hear Angeal come up with the same questions he had after reading LOVELESS the first half-dozen times, but ache a little too. His eyes are open again now– forever, or as long as they'll keep talking. But Genesis is silent for such a long time that Angeal could think he took his word for it and fell asleep. ]
If they took me prisoner of war, I'd want to know you're still alive on the other side, Angeal.
[ Morbid, but it isn't the first time Genesis holds LOVELESS up to the reality they've come to face. Though, of course, he wouldn't be the prisoner... ]
[ The hiss doesn't make Angeal jump, but he does make him tilt his head to check on Genesis over the edge of the bed, and, as those familiar eyes remain open, he doesn't quite turn atay, just leans his head against the bed to be able to see with periphela vision, both the door and his friend. It is how he deems the first part is not asking for an immediate response, or guesses, at least, not until the follow-up comes. ]
The torture of making him know of the things he is deprived off, being held captive. If it's over a long time... my guess is that they'd want to break him. But... I think you're right. Knowing that his friend is alive and doing his best would be a source of strength, not weakness.
[ His own eyes crinkle so very slightly. ]
I'd want to know, too.
[ Angeal... isn't aspiring to being the hero.
Nor does he think he can really make it, all alone. ]
[ Genesis frowns because it's such a somber notion. And it's not that he doesn't think Angeal has such deep thoughts; he just rarely shares them in the same way. Cerulean eyes, infused with green because of the same mako that's also fixing the bones in his arm, are intent on meeting Angeal's even in the corner of his vision. ]
It's the gift of the Goddess. [ At some point, he'll forget that he said it like that—. ] Giving his friend the strength to go on.
[ Then Genesis's gaze sinks, not sure what to say next, like he'd spent all his sincerity at once but wanting to impart some more. He flexes his right, unbroken hand instead, while holding it up by his face, then the fingers of his left without looking. To his relief, he can move them just as well as he could earlier. Angeal is right, after all, and Genesis sighs, forgetting that he didn't think he had more to say.
The first 1st Class gets the moniker, and they're about as close as anything to heroes themselves. ]
We won't be POWs, you know, they can't just grab SOLDIERs off the field.
[ Angeal knows that Genesis has thought more about each word than he'll ever have the time to, but that doesn't mean that hearing the poem so often will spare him some pointed thoughts, especially as their friendship pair is more and more turning into a trio.
But also... he has seen, very closely, just how little the first First wants that title. His mouth twists in a sort of smile, and he reaches over the edge of the bed - to ruffle the red hair of his friend, very lightly. ]
You're right. We're not likely to become prisoners of war.
[ Except, if he has to use one word for Sephiroth...
It is prisoner, all the same. And that's concerning and complicated and absolutely not something to bring up at this time. ]
[ Sure enough, Sephiroth has years of readings and discussions to catch up on. Genesis is still blind to that other aspect—who wouldn't be proud of such a singular title? Wrapped up in that thought momentarily, he can't dodge the hand coming at him in time. Mussing up his hair like that, Genesis does his very best to look annoyed as he combs his own fingers back through to fix it.
His look of irritation just isn't quite there. It's because Angeal's eyes recently seem to narrow at the mere mention of the labs and Professor Hojo. It's so much so that Genesis has wondered if his friend woke up to a fear of needles one day. He isn't sure whether to place Angeal's look right now in the same category... ]
You'll take all the glory for protecting me? I guess that suits you.
[ ...And scoffs, without throwing his weight behind it, instead. He might try, but next he sounds far from indifferent, another way— ]
I wonder if Sephiroth can already choose who goes with him...
[ Angeal did want to get Genesis a little outside his head, but also he knows that his friend is tired, so the poking is very limited. His mouth half quirks up again. ]
I'd protect you, not that you need it all that much normally. But not for glory.
[ ... he doesn't need to press the point. Genesis knows him enough so that he doesn't have to.
And then he actually snorts, softly. ]
Last I checked, they put me as his squad leader. I'd go with, no, he can't choose, not yet. [ Because who would choose someone they've never met, probably never heard of, and likely less powerful, as his immediate superior in the chain of command. ] I don't think you need to worry about that for a while.
[ They've both been leaders in the classroom, it just happened so suddenly, that Genesis in now behind in terms of transferring it to the field. But he likes that ardor within Angeal even so. It sets something alight in his own chest; not envy. His friend is entirely too modest sometimes. ]
You should aim for a bit of glory.
[ There's a flicker of Angeal placing the laurels on his head, even if he doesn't acknowledge it. ]
Maybe he got shy about it and acted like he didn't choose himself. [ The image doesn't fit the one Genesis has of Sephiroth in his head. He just says it half-heartedly, seeing if it gets anything out of Angeal. ]
Of course, I'm not worried. Either way, it's me next. [ After this heals. By ranking in their grade, or because Angeal gets to pick, or because he put in the word for Genesis with Shinra's hero... surely. Genesis's smirk looks a little wearied—at this point, it can't be helped. ]
[ Another grin, this time maybe a fraction less crooked. ]
You wouldn't know what to do with me if I did.
[ And then, with a proper smile, and eyes earnest. ]
Yeah, it is. And everyone will notice you.
[ Angeal is pretty sure he only got that first assignment because of Sephiroth and the need for someone ... stable and even-headed. Which, between the two of them, Angeal himself as an edge on, while Genesis has brilliance and unpredictability on his side. And he's certain that superiors know his friend's strengths and will not leave him to languish much longer. ]
Hmh. [ It shrinks into the pillow, but still a laugh. ] I think you wouldn't know what to do.
[ Genesis digs his cheek, his nose further into the bedding. Praise he'd take as is any other moment now steals up his neck and his face. His defenses are down as he is, but especially about Angeal's deep and warm smile. ]
Yeah... like I said, I'm not worried.
[ He waves it off. His feelings simmer at the point of empathy rather than boiling over. Even as Angeal's features have begun to sharpen and harden—Genesis notices—clemency grows in as another one of his traits. Another huff bores into the pillow, though. ]
—Well, you still barely told me what it was like.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
angealwings) wrote2022-06-19 02:39 pm
tfln, firstclassdreams
In my experience the attempt to forget something specific only manages to make people remember it better. Not the desired effect. But I will do my best to ignore it.
[ And he knows you have an easier time forgetting things, as most teenagers do, but he still has a point. ]
no subject
[ don't get his hopes up, Angeal. Don't do it!! He's already running with the fact that Angeal will be well aware he jerks off to their work out soundtrack and having trouble forgetting it. ]
tfln, aonibi
Have you ever considered that we're maybe all of us different? That you're not like any of the rest of us doesn't make you less, or more, just... you.
[ And Angeal doesn't think that makes Sephiroth any less deserving of having someone around when the world is being weird because SOMEONE is experimenting with him. Ugh, Hojo... ]
tfln, genesisimperfecta
[ Angeal can't quote, no, but by this point he does know how the story goes. He squeezes his eyes shut for a moment. ]
Not today, not war. And not yet what happens to them.
[ And, after a moment, quietly. ]
Must have ended pretty lonely, the two who lived.
no subject
Probably.
[ He immediately wants to probe for more, but musters up enough restraint, offers his thought instead. ]
Neither one of them knows at least the other one is still alive.
no subject
So his mind is racing, racing... ]
Do you think that would be worse, for the one captured, or being taunted, over and over again, with the freedom and heroism of the other friend?
[ It is only the one who died whose pain is finally over. The other two... ]
... sorry, that was morbid. Get your rest, my friend.
no subject
—What, being alone versus knowing he could not be the hero...?
[ It makes inside his chest flutter to hear Angeal come up with the same questions he had after reading LOVELESS the first half-dozen times, but ache a little too. His eyes are open again now– forever, or as long as they'll keep talking. But Genesis is silent for such a long time that Angeal could think he took his word for it and fell asleep. ]
If they took me prisoner of war, I'd want to know you're still alive on the other side, Angeal.
[ Morbid, but it isn't the first time Genesis holds LOVELESS up to the reality they've come to face. Though, of course, he wouldn't be the prisoner... ]
no subject
The torture of making him know of the things he is deprived off, being held captive. If it's over a long time... my guess is that they'd want to break him. But... I think you're right. Knowing that his friend is alive and doing his best would be a source of strength, not weakness.
[ His own eyes crinkle so very slightly. ]
I'd want to know, too.
[ Angeal... isn't aspiring to being the hero.
Nor does he think he can really make it, all alone. ]
no subject
[ Genesis frowns because it's such a somber notion. And it's not that he doesn't think Angeal has such deep thoughts; he just rarely shares them in the same way. Cerulean eyes, infused with green because of the same mako that's also fixing the bones in his arm, are intent on meeting Angeal's even in the corner of his vision. ]
It's the gift of the Goddess. [ At some point, he'll forget that he said it like that—. ] Giving his friend the strength to go on.
[ Then Genesis's gaze sinks, not sure what to say next, like he'd spent all his sincerity at once but wanting to impart some more. He flexes his right, unbroken hand instead, while holding it up by his face, then the fingers of his left without looking. To his relief, he can move them just as well as he could earlier. Angeal is right, after all, and Genesis sighs, forgetting that he didn't think he had more to say.
The first 1st Class gets the moniker, and they're about as close as anything to heroes themselves. ]
We won't be POWs, you know, they can't just grab SOLDIERs off the field.
no subject
But also... he has seen, very closely, just how little the first First wants that title. His mouth twists in a sort of smile, and he reaches over the edge of the bed - to ruffle the red hair of his friend, very lightly. ]
You're right. We're not likely to become prisoners of war.
[ Except, if he has to use one word for Sephiroth...
It is prisoner, all the same. And that's concerning and complicated and absolutely not something to bring up at this time. ]
Not on my watch.
no subject
His look of irritation just isn't quite there. It's because Angeal's eyes recently seem to narrow at the mere mention of the labs and Professor Hojo. It's so much so that Genesis has wondered if his friend woke up to a fear of needles one day. He isn't sure whether to place Angeal's look right now in the same category... ]
You'll take all the glory for protecting me? I guess that suits you.
[ ...And scoffs, without throwing his weight behind it, instead. He might try, but next he sounds far from indifferent, another way— ]
I wonder if Sephiroth can already choose who goes with him...
no subject
I'd protect you, not that you need it all that much normally. But not for glory.
[ ... he doesn't need to press the point. Genesis knows him enough so that he doesn't have to.
And then he actually snorts, softly. ]
Last I checked, they put me as his squad leader. I'd go with, no, he can't choose, not yet. [ Because who would choose someone they've never met, probably never heard of, and likely less powerful, as his immediate superior in the chain of command. ] I don't think you need to worry about that for a while.
no subject
You should aim for a bit of glory.
[ There's a flicker of Angeal placing the laurels on his head, even if he doesn't acknowledge it. ]
Maybe he got shy about it and acted like he didn't choose himself. [ The image doesn't fit the one Genesis has of Sephiroth in his head. He just says it half-heartedly, seeing if it gets anything out of Angeal. ]
Of course, I'm not worried. Either way, it's me next. [ After this heals. By ranking in their grade, or because Angeal gets to pick, or because he put in the word for Genesis with Shinra's hero... surely. Genesis's smirk looks a little wearied—at this point, it can't be helped. ]
no subject
You wouldn't know what to do with me if I did.
[ And then, with a proper smile, and eyes earnest. ]
Yeah, it is. And everyone will notice you.
[ Angeal is pretty sure he only got that first assignment because of Sephiroth and the need for someone ... stable and even-headed. Which, between the two of them, Angeal himself as an edge on, while Genesis has brilliance and unpredictability on his side. And he's certain that superiors know his friend's strengths and will not leave him to languish much longer. ]
no subject
[ Genesis digs his cheek, his nose further into the bedding. Praise he'd take as is any other moment now steals up his neck and his face. His defenses are down as he is, but especially about Angeal's deep and warm smile. ]
Yeah... like I said, I'm not worried.
[ He waves it off. His feelings simmer at the point of empathy rather than boiling over. Even as Angeal's features have begun to sharpen and harden—Genesis notices—clemency grows in as another one of his traits. Another huff bores into the pillow, though. ]
—Well, you still barely told me what it was like.